Chris Voss: How to Succeed at Hard Conversations | Huberman Lab Podcast

Key Takeaways

Chris Voss emphasizes strategic bargaining, figuring out how complicated a situation is, being reliable, being positive, and being ready for the unexpected (Segment 01).
Be careful in "win-win" negotiations and look for hidden reasons. Focus on testing hypotheses and real collaboration (Segment 03).
Voss talks about how important it is to work together in tough conversations. He uses the Philippines hostage situation as an example (Segment 05).
Chris Voss talks about the importance of checking sources quickly and using smart questions to find fakes (Segment 07).
The connection between "gut feeling" and intuition and sensory awareness gives us interesting insights into how we think (Segment 09).
Chris Voss wants online contact to be clear and brief so that problems can be solved quickly and people can work together better (Segment 10).
The effect of ego depletion on the result of a negotiation is that it can work in some situations, but it can also have a negative effect (Segment 12).
Communication that works: Validate your feelings and do not take the advice you did not ask for. Meditation and faith can help you feel better (Segment 14).
Mirroring is a method for making connections and improving communication, especially with smart people (Segment 19).

Summary:

The podcast has Chris Voss as a guest, a former agent of the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) who held the role of chief negotiator in numerous cases characterized by their high-risk and high-consequence nature. Chris has served as an instructor of negotiation classes at prestigious academic institutions such as Harvard and Georgetown Universities. Additionally, he has authored a book titled "Never Split the Difference." In their discussion, Dr. Andrew Huberman and Chris go into the strategies for effectively managing challenging talks across several domains, encompassing corporate interactions, romantic relationships, the dissolution of romantic partnerships, employment terminations, and uncomfortable dialogues within familial and social circles. In this discourse, Chris elucidates the strategies for effectively maneuvering through negotiations conducted via online platforms, face-to-face interactions, and written correspondence. Additionally, Chris highlights the indicators of potential issues to be vigilant of, as well as the techniques for interpreting non-verbal cues exhibited through body language and vocal intonations in both in-person and telephonic talks. The author elucidates the utilization of empathy, specific essential inquiries, proactive listening, emotional processing, and other techniques to effectively get the optimal outcome in challenging dialogues. This particular episode is likely to capture the attention of individuals seeking to enhance their interpersonal competencies and communication proficiencies, as well as those aspiring to maintain composure during contentious dialogues.

(01). 00:04:59 Negotiation Mindset, Playfulness

The podcast excerpt featuring Chris Voss emphasizes the necessity of implementing a strategic methodology when engaging in negotiations. Voss suggests that in every transaction, there is often a higher degree of complexity than initially perceived. Therefore, it is important to quickly determine whether a favorable agreement exists or if there is an unfavorable arrangement. The individual argues that the decision to abstain from pursuing a contract that does not conform to one's ideals, should not be regarded as a failure. Instead, the real mistake lies in investing time in a defective agreement. Voss underscores the significance of assessing the dependability of the opposing party and the rapid identification of the prevailing circumstances. The author also explores the effectiveness of maintaining a positive and cheerful attitude as a powerful tactic in negotiations, including personal stories to exemplify the positive results attained through the adoption of this mindset. Voss asserts that outstanding discussions are not primarily distinguished by excitement, but rather by the spectacular and unexpected outcomes, they produce. The author presents a narrative example of a situation at an airport when luggage was misplaced, highlighting the possibility of positive outcomes that might arise from adopting a cheerful and friendly attitude that effectively connects with others [1].

Figure 01. Heuristic and normative probability judgments [2].

References

1. Hager, B.M., A.C. Yang, and J.N. Gutsell, Measuring Brain Complexity During Neural Motor Resonance. 2018. 12.

2. Andersson, L., et al., Neurocognitive processes underlying heuristic and normative probability judgments. Cognition, 2020. 196: p. 104153.

(02). 00:11:41 Calm Voice, Emotional Shift, Music

In the podcast conversation, Chris Voss discusses the importance of maintaining a calm and cool demeanor throughout conversations, drawing on his experience as a negotiator in hostage scenarios. The author highlights the effectiveness of utilizing a late-night FM DJ speech style, which has the twin functions of calming the listener and cultivating a feeling of tranquility inside the author. This helps to alleviate the potential interference of negative emotions on the author's cognitive functions. Voss posits the presence of a sequential pattern in the temporal evolution of emotions, wherein individuals undergo a shift from a state of rage to a subsequent state characterized by tranquility. The individual begins to expound over their tactics for effectively modifying one's emotional state towards a more advantageous mentality within the realm of negotiations. Furthermore, the book delves into the intriguing realm of neurology about the impact of low-frequency noises on the brain, providing insight into their capacity to regulate emotional states and responses. Voss briefly references the limited effectiveness of utilizing loud music as a strategic tactic in certain hostage situations in his book. The author emphasizes the need for hostage negotiators to actively dissuade the adoption of these ineffective approaches [3].

References

3. Araújo Alves, J., et al., Low-Frequency Noise and Its Main Effects on Human Health—A Review of the Literature between 2016 and 2019. 2020. 10(15): p. 5205.

(03). 00:18:59 “Win-Win”?, Benevolent Negotiations, Hypothesis Testing

This discourse aims to explore the concept of the "win-win" paradigm in the context of negotiations, with a particular focus on its potential limitations. According to Chris Voss, the use of the phrase "win-win" in negotiations may suggest a lack of authenticity or trustworthiness, as it is closely linked to those who may have deceptive or exploitative motives. The author highlights the importance of exercising caution when encountering the use of this term during the early phases of a negotiation, as it could potentially indicate hidden motives. Voss conducts a comprehensive analysis of the significance of hypothesis testing in the realm of negotiations, establishing connections to the scientific process. The process of generating a hypothesis at the outset and subsequently investigating and refining it promotes improved teamwork and comprehension. The conversation highlights the need of effective communication and genuine collaboration in achieving mutually beneficial outcomes while avoiding common pitfalls in negotiation [4].

Figure 02. Brain activation during Communication [5].

References

4. What Happens to Your Brain When You Negotiate About Money. Available from: https://hbr.org/2015/10/what-happens-to-your-brain-when-you-negotiate-about-money.

5. Price, C., M. Seghier, and A. Leff, Predicting language outcome and recovery after stroke: The PLORAS system. Nature reviews. Neurology, 2010. 6: p. 202-10.

(04). 00:28:38 Generosity

Within this discourse, the Guest Chris Voss places significant emphasis on the deep influence that acts of generosity and goodwill have in fostering meaningful relationships and productive partnerships. The authors emphasize the significance of those who provide valuable aid without expecting instant reciprocation since they establish a solid basis for trust and cooperation. The illustration featuring Joe Polish serves to demonstrate how the constant demonstration of acts of kindness and support can foster a profound level of trust and a reciprocal inclination to offer assistance. The speaker also discusses a laboratory experience from a personal perspective, highlighting the presence of a culture characterized by lending and generosity, which ultimately fostered a constructive and collaborative atmosphere. The emphasis is placed on the significance of altruistic giving without anticipating substantial reciprocation, as well as the usefulness of minor acts of benevolence, such as providing good feedback, in fostering enduring interpersonal connections. The discourse highlights the practicality of these concepts and their broad relevance in building significant associations [6].

References

6. Park, S.Q., et al., A neural link between generosity and happiness. Nature Communications, 2017. 8(1): p. 15964.

(05). 00:33:44 Hostile Negotiations, Internal Collaboration

Chris Voss imparts valuable ideas derived from their extensive involvement in negotiations, with a specific focus on hostage situations. Their discourse underscores the criticality of collaboration, communication, and adaptation within the context of high-stakes circumstances. The episode in the Philippines is characterized by a hostage situation, wherein the occurrence of initial miscommunications and a dearth of collaboration across multiple entities, encompassing the governments of the United States and the Philippines, resulted in regrettable outcomes. This occurrence facilitated a more profound comprehension of the interrelationships within their own team as well as within the adversary's faction. The authors emphasize the need to disseminate crucial information and acquire the ability to adjust amid tumultuous circumstances. Furthermore, the speaker alludes to numerous instances pertaining to Al Qaeda and underscores the significance of proactive measures in averting imminent catastrophes wherever feasible. In conclusion, the speaker's experiences serve to highlight the intricate and frequently unforeseeable characteristics of discussions within crisis contexts [7].

References

7. The Global War on Terrorism: The First 100 Days. Available from: https://2001-2009.state.gov/s/ct/rls/wh/6947.htm.

(06). 00:39:40 Patterns & Specificity; Internet Scams, “Double-Dip”

In his discourse, Chris Voss delves into the realm of negotiating methods and behavioral patterns, deriving insights from his extensive encounters in demanding circumstances such as hostage negotiations and online scams. The authors highlight the significance of clarity in both threats and requests, as they argue that imprecise threats tend to possess lower levels of credibility. The authors describe an incident wherein a hostage scenario entailed a difficult situation for a family, emphasizing the imperative to scrutinize the particular elements to ascertain the threat's veracity. The speaker cautions against acquiescing to demands in the absence of substantiated facts regarding the credibility of the threat and emphasizes the significance of ensuring that the opposing side perceives a sense of deservingness in attaining their desired goal. The aforementioned idea of requiring the opposing party to exert effort in attaining their desired outcomes is applicable not alone to hostage negotiations, but also to routine social exchanges, when individuals seek to perceive themselves as having merited their benefits. Consequently, the significance of empathy in facilitating prosperous negotiations is underscored [8].

Figure 03. Behavioral Patterns and Brain [8].

References

8. Schnack, H., Assessing reproducibility in association studies. eLife, 2019. 8: p. e46757.

(07). 00:48:15 Urgency, Cons, Asking Questions

In the conversation between Andrew Huberman and Chris Voss, the latter shares an anecdote of an interaction with a fraudulent operation that specifically targeted a telephone number belonging to a friend. Voss provides further details regarding his approach to the aforementioned scenario, wherein he undertook the task of verifying the authenticity of the received textual messages. The importance of establishing the trustworthiness of a source before responding to time-sensitive calls for aid is emphasized by the author. Within the context of the narrative, Chris provides an account of a personal occurrence in which he interacts with an individual involved in fraudulent activities. Chris adopts a strategic approach by introducing tiny deviations into the conversation, aiming to evaluate the legitimacy of the scammer. This technique finally results in a shift in power dynamics, enabling Chris to draw entertainment from the conversation. Both Chris and Andrew observe the prevalent incidence of frauds that especially target individuals, encompassing several instances involving deceitful kidnappings. Additionally, they place significant emphasis on the critical necessity of spotting warning indications, such as an increased perception of urgency. The importance of asking pertinent questions to get more information and assess the credibility of potential threats is emphasized, even in high-stress situations like conversations pertaining to abduction [9].

Figure 04. Stress situation and the Brain [9].

References

9. Corr, R., et al., Neural Mechanisms of Acute Stress and Trait Anxiety in Adolescents. NeuroImage: Clinical, 2020. 29: p. 102543.

(08). 01:02:18 “Vision Drives Decision”, Human Nature & Investigation

Chris Voss underscores the importance of utilizing "how" and "what" interrogations in negotiation contexts, placing greater emphasis on procedural elements rather than solely focusing on the end result. The author suggests that these inquiries serve as diagnostic tools for evaluating the response of the interlocutor. The critical element is determining whether persons answer immediately with explicit demands or take a brief pause to deliberate on the inquiry. According to Voss (year), a rapid and emphatic response is often characteristic of a Shakedown artist or a negotiator adopting a more aggressive attitude, whereas a deliberate and considered reply suggests a different strategy. The author also integrates perspectives from Johnny Pico, a specialist in hostage negotiation, who highlights the importance of employing a strategic method that involves systematically diminishing an adversary's resources, especially when dealing with high-risk individuals. This is accomplished by employing passive-aggressive questioning strategies, which gradually undermine their determination [10].

Figure 05. Activated brain regions in decision [10].

References

10. Yamasaki, T. and S. Tobimatsu, Driving Ability in Alzheimer Disease Spectrum: Neural Basis, Assessment, and Potential Use of Optic Flow Event-Related Potentials. Frontiers in Neurology, 2018. 9: p. 750.

(09). 01:07:47 Lying & Body, “Gut Sense”

During the discourse, Chris Voss and Andrew Huberman engage in an exploration of the intriguing domains of human intuition and sensory perception. They delve into the notion that our instinctive intuitions, sometimes referred to as "gut feelings," possess a remarkable level of accuracy. Voss emphasizes the significance of differentiating between the enteric nervous system and the fear-related regions, such as the amygdala, situated in the human brain. The Guest posits that the gastrointestinal system is an intricately perceptive mechanism that assimilates a diverse range of sensory stimuli, both acknowledged and still to be explored, so enhancing our intuitive comprehension of various circumstances. Voss discusses magnetoreception research, which explores the potential of humans to perceive magnetic fields. Additionally, Voss presents findings from studies that demonstrate synchronized pulse rhythms among individuals who are exposed to the same narrative, despite being physically far from one other. The discussion explores the notion of energy transactions and unexplored dimensions of neuroscience, proposing that the subconscious mind, frequently disregarded, assumes a pivotal function in the cognitive processing and interpretation of our surroundings [11].

Figure 06. Bird Magnetoreception [11].

References

11. Unravelling the enigma of bird magnetoreception. Available from: https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-021-01596-6.

(10). 01:20:39 Online/Text Communication; “Straight Shooters”

Chris Voss underscores the efficacy of employing direct and succinct communication, placing significant emphasis on the paramountcy of clarity and conciseness in interpersonal exchanges. The individual proceeds to illustrate an instance whereby a written communication is exchanged with a filmmaker named Nick, pertaining to a matter encountered within a documentary. Rather than providing an extensive introduction, Chris chooses to use a concise two-line message that directly addresses the issue at hand. This method promptly engages Nick in a problem-solving mindset, leading to a swift and effective discussion of potential solutions within a few of minutes. Chris juxtaposes this approach with the prevalent convention of employing the "mud sandwich" technique, wherein individuals interpose negative information between expressions of praise or pleasant remarks. The individual has a preference for employing a straightforward method, which facilitates the prompt and efficient settlement of issues for both parties involved. This approach prioritizes directness over superfluous pleasantries or time-consuming delays, ultimately resulting in enhanced communication and problem-solving capabilities [10].

Figure 07. Communication and brain fMRI [12].

References

12. Kotila, A., et al., Processing of pragmatic communication in ASD: a video-based brain imaging study. Scientific Reports, 2020. 10(1): p. 21739.

(11). 01:26:47 Break-ups (Romantic & Professional), Firing, Resilience

In his discourse, Chris Voss explores the intricacies involved in conveying unfavorable information or concluding a relationship, while also providing crucial considerations for effectively managing these circumstances. The author highlights that individuals frequently exhibit a tendency to postpone or mitigate the delivery of unfavorable information, mostly motivated by self-preservation rather than concern for the recipient's well-being. According to Voss, it is recommended to schedule the termination of employment on a Monday rather than a Friday. This allows the employee to have a full workweek to manage and cope with the circumstances. The author emphasizes the importance of forewarning the recipient of the impending delivery of unfavorable information while discouraging excessive focus on pleasantries before communication. Voss advocates for expeditiously removing the figurative Band-Aid since prolonging the process merely serves to extend the discomfort. Ultimately, the author argues in favor of recognizing the capacity of individuals to withstand adversity when provided with the chance to mentally prepare for distressing information, rather than attempting to protect oneself by evading or postponing the unavoidable [13].

Figure 08. Romantic relationship and brain [13].

References

13. Song, H., et al., Love-related changes in the brain: a resting-state functional magnetic resonance imaging study. 2015. 9.

(12). 01:32:16 Ego Depletion, Negotiation Outcomes

The concept of ego depletion, similar to decision fatigue, revolves around the role of dopamine in the brain and its connection to goal-directed behaviors related to an individual's self-image. When individuals are continually compelled to provide justifications for their opinions or engage in discussions to affirm their truth, it may lead to a diminishment of their ego, maybe impacted by the expenditure of dopamine. The practice of hostage negotiation sometimes involves the implementation of tactics that seek to reduce an individual's ego or resolve, with the intention of eliciting surrender due to mental and physical exhaustion. In situations characterized by limited space and high tension, such as a standoff in a bank, the concept of ego depletion might be strategically utilized to prompt surrender. Nevertheless, it is crucial to recognize that within the realm of corporate discussions or more extensive life situations, attaining a consensus via ego depletion may not result in lasting consequences. This phenomenon can be attributed to the potential for individuals to reevaluate the parameters of the agreement or deviate from it once their ego resources have been recharged. The occurrence of ego depletion may potentially yield adverse consequences in these specific circumstances. Hence, the effective management of one's ego and a comprehensive understanding of human psychology play pivotal roles in attaining successful negotiations and resolving disagreements. Furthermore, the notion of ego depletion aligns with the strategies utilized to manage these complex conditions [14].

Figure 09. Goal-Directed Behavior And Brain [14].

References

14. Tumati, S., et al., Lateral parietal cortex in the generation of behavior: Implications for apathy. Progress in neurobiology, 2018. 175.

(13). 01:37:35 Readiness & “Small Space Practice”, Labeling

The utilization of small-scale contacts as a means to enhance negotiation abilities is a valuable strategy, whereby routine meetings with individuals such as Lyft drivers, hotel employees, TSA personnel, grocery store clerks, and others present possibilities for the refinement of said skills. This methodology entails the use of open-ended inquiries, such as "What aspects of your profession do you find fulfilling?" with the intention of inducing a shift in the individual's emotional state, fostering an inclination to divulge their own interests and promptly exposing their authentic disposition and principles. Through active participation in these contacts and striving to create a favorable influence, negotiators can effectively retain their negotiating skills and remain prepared for negotiations of significant importance. This technique enables individuals to enhance their bargaining abilities while also fostering genuine connections with others they engage with on a regular basis[15].

Figure 10. Multiple Brain Activation [15].

References

15. Montandon, M.-L., et al., Patterns of multiple brain network activation in dot perspective task. Scientific Reports, 2023. 13(1): p. 6793.

(14). 01:45:17 Venting, Emotions & Listening; Meditation & Spirituality

Effective communication is the skill of recognizing and validating the underlying feelings of an individual who is expressing their frustrations, and afterward addressing these emotions in an appropriate manner. The aim is to guarantee that persons perceive a sense of recognition and understanding, rather than being ignored or dismissed. Through the utilization of intuitive discernment, individuals can identify and acknowledge certain negative emotional states, such as dissatisfaction related to future goals or anger stemming from past events. By doing so, they can provide support and validation to those experiencing these emotions. The primary aim of this therapy is to enable individuals to vent repressed emotions in a way that minimizes the risk of worsening harm or poison. Labels, denoted by phrases such as "seems like," "sounds like," or "looks like," are utilized as a method to proficiently convey understanding and empathy. Additionally, it is advisable for the speaker to refrain from offering unsolicited counsel or corrections and instead focus on empathetically acknowledging the emotions of the other person. The main goal is to reduce the occurrence of negative emotions, hence promoting emotional well-being and enhancing effective communication. The literature additionally provides a brief overview of personal practices such as meditation, gratitude exercises, and the pursuit of deep relaxation and spiritual connection, which are suggested as means to enhance an individual's performance and well-being [16].

Figure 11. Emotions in Music and Brain FMRI [16].

References

16. Brattico, E., et al., A Functional MRI Study of Happy and Sad Emotions in Music with and without Lyrics. 2011. 2.

(15). 01:51:41 Physical Fitness, Self-Care

The individual in question engages in a discourse around their particular trajectory within the realm of sports and physical fitness, emphasizing the enduring importance of physical well-being throughout their existence. The authors recognize the dynamic nature of conditioning in sports and provide insights based on their personal experiences in weightlifting and martial arts. Despite the occurrence of some injuries, the individuals in question place significant emphasis on the significance of physical and spiritual well-being through the pursuit of fitness. Within their current regimen, they make reference to the utilization of cold plunges and saunas, acknowledging the psychological and physical advantages associated with these activities. The authors also discuss the significance of eating as an essential element of their comprehensive health routine. The speaker underscores the interconnectedness of physical health and psychological well-being, recognizing the influence of individual elements such as stress, relationships, and spirituality on overall efficacy in different domains of life [17].

Figure 12. Exercise and Brain FMRI [17].

References

17. Macintosh, B., et al., Impact of a Single Bout of Aerobic Exercise on Regional Brain Perfusion and Activation Responses in Healthy Young Adults. PloS one, 2014. 9: p. e85163.

(16). 01:57:01 Long Negotiations & Recharging

The Guest of the narrative recounts their participation in a prolonged hostage negotiation that occurred in Washington, D.C. in the year 2003. The focal point of the event included a person named Dwight Watson, who made deceptive claims regarding the ownership of explosive devices and initiated a confrontation using a tractor. The guest observed that the negotiation began on St. Patrick's Day and lasted for around three days. Despite the challenging conditions, the person in issue demonstrated the ability to maintain composure and appropriately assign the responsibility to another hostage negotiator, Vince Stefanzo, when necessary. This highlights the need to have faith in the negotiation process and acknowledge the necessity of replenishing one's energy resources as required. The guest furthermore examines scenarios in which negotiators may find themselves obligated to sustain communication with an individual during the occurrence of a tactical assault, underscoring the significance of embracing all aspects of the profession and carrying out the plan instructed by higher authorities [18].

References

18. Dwight Watson (farmer). Available from: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dwight_Watson_(farmer).

(17). 02:02:40 Hostages, Humanization & Names

The Guest provides an in-depth examination of hostage scenarios and the complex dynamics of human conduct under highly stressful conditions, placing special focus on the notion of humanization. The authors observe that the dehumanizing actions demonstrated by individuals who take hostages enhance their capacity to do harm or even result in the death of those being held captive. On the other hand, engaging in behaviors that humanize individuals, such as revealing one's personal identity, can increase the probability of survival. The individual makes a correlation between the aforementioned notion and their professional position as a hostage negotiator, emphasizing the importance of fostering a sense of empathy and shared experiences in captives in order to effectively communicate with captors. The discussion also explores the utilization of terminology in academic inquiries and its impact on interpersonal relationships and empathic comprehension. In summary, the speaker briefly acknowledges their involvement in an upcoming documentary project that revolves around the notion of tactical empathy. Additionally, the authors make a reference to the projected date of publication for this documentary, which is planned to take place in the foreseeable future [19].

References

19. The Psychology of Emotional and Cognitive Empathy. Available from: https://lesley.edu/article/the-psychology-of-emotional-and-cognitive-empathy.

(18). 02:08:50 Tactical Empathy, Compassion

In his discourse, Chris Voss explores the significance of empathy as a crucial instrument in the context of negotiations, underscoring its function in the transmission of information rather than necessitating emotional affinity. The author differentiates this concept from sympathy and compassion, with the objective of attaining exceptional proficiency by prioritizing the comprehension of the other party's viewpoint and employing verbal communication as a means to exhibit such comprehension. According to Voss, empathy has the potential to adeptly traverse diverse circumstances, including those involving individuals who may experience cognitive or emotional difficulties. Through the act of expressing the opposing viewpoint, the individual in question establishes a perception of being acknowledged, a factor that they perceive as exerting a significant impact on negotiations by cultivating a sense of connection and yielding advantageous results [20].

Figure 13. Empathy and brain response [20].

References

20. Schaefer, M., et al., Dispositional empathy predicts primary somatosensory cortex activity while receiving touch by a hand. Scientific Reports, 2021. 11(1): p. 11294.

(19). 02:15:27 Tool: Mirroring Technique

Chris Voss places considerable emphasis on the effectiveness and directness of mirroring as a communication method, particularly in the realm of negotiations. The Guest provides an explanation that the notion of mirroring involves the repetition of a speaker's prior statement using one to three words. This particular communication strategy activates a different brain region compared to labeling or other forms of communication methods. The notion of mirroring extends beyond mere replication of bodily gestures or vocal intonations, instead focusing on the establishment of a cognitive and communicative bond between ideas and expressions. Voss employs the strategy of mirroring in order to cultivate individuals' propensity to expound upon their perspectives, cultivate a sense of validation, and augment the lucidity of their concepts. The employment of this tool considerably enhances communication, especially when interacting with individuals who possess high levels of intellectual intelligence (IQ) and emotional intelligence (EQ). This technique has demonstrated a high level of effectiveness due to its ability to yield significant results with less effort [21].

Figure 14. Intelligence differences among individuals [21].

References

21. Deary, I.J., S.R. Cox, and W.D. Hill, Genetic variation, brain, and intelligence differences. Molecular Psychiatry, 2022. 27(1): p. 335-353.

(20). 02:22:20 Tool: Proactive Listening

Chris Voss emphasizes the importance of proactive communication and emotional regulation while acknowledging the limitations of the concept of "active listening" and proposing a more effective alternative approach. Drawing upon his professional experience as a practitioner in the field of hostage negotiation and integrating insights from the discipline of neurology, the author explores the pervasiveness of negative emotions in human interactions. Voss contends that embracing a proactive stance towards recognizing and acknowledging these emotions can serve as a strategy to reduce the probability of conflicts emerging. The author references empirical studies that illustrate the potential of self-identifying negative feelings to diminish their intensity. This evidence supports the idea that predicting and expressing negativity during negotiations can have advantageous outcomes. The method utilizes a proactive approach aimed at immunizing persons against negative emotions, reducing the likelihood of misinterpretations, and improving the overall efficacy of communication to maximize the outcomes of negotiations.

Figure 15. Negative feelings and brain [22].

References

22. Hayes, J., et al., Staying Cool when Things Get Hot: Emotion Regulation Modulates Neural Mechanisms of Memory Encoding. Frontiers in human neuroscience, 2010. 4: p. 230.

(21). 02:35:21 Self Restoration, Humor

Chris Voss provides valuable observations into the positive dynamics observed within the teams he has worked with throughout his professional career, emphasizing the importance of camaraderie, levity, and mutual support. The individual values the ability to participate in collective laughter, exhibit genuine empathy and refrain from utilizing harsh judgment. A supportive and unified environment has exerted a substantial influence on the development of his professional path, spanning his positions as an agent of the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) and a specialist negotiator focusing on hostage scenarios. In his present role as the owner of his own business, Voss strives to instill similar values and corporate culture, acknowledging that incorporating humor, hard work, and genuine recognition of one's professional achievements are essential elements in promoting mental well-being. Moreover, the individual articulates a profound gratitude for the sensation of satisfaction that ensues from attaining objectives, regarding it as a privilege rather than a mere reflection of individual vanity. Furthermore, he acknowledges the importance of placing emphasis on one's psychological welfare, occasionally seeking comfort in the use of bourbon [23].

References

23. FBI. Available from: https://www.fbi.gov/investigate/how-we-investigate/tactics.

(22). 02:39:01 Fireside, Communication Courses; Rapport; Writing Projects

Chris Voss delineates his participation in a novel social media platform named Fireside, jointly established by Fallon Fatimi and Mark Cuban. This platform amalgamates interactive podcasting with collective counseling. The author emphasizes the significance of this platform by emphasizing its provision of weekly group coaching sessions, immediate application of negotiation tactics, and direct engagement with the author and his staff. Voss underscores the favorable influence on individuals' lives, exemplifying the preservation of a marital relationship through enhanced aptitude in interpersonal communication. Additionally, the guest alludes to his involvement in the development of supplementary literature to accompany the publication "Never Split the Difference," with a specific emphasis on the concept of tactical empathy. Furthermore, he highlights his engagement in continuous online training, the dissemination of information through a newsletter, and collaborative efforts within diverse fields. Notably, one recent collaboration involves the creation of a book tailored for residential real estate agents, aimed at promoting the principles of the Black Swan method, which facilitates effective communication and negotiation [24].

References

24. Fireside. Available from: https://firesidesocial.com/.

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Chris Voss: How to Succeed at Hard Conversations | Huberman Lab Podcast